Anthology: Our Feelings
by Her Pretty Smile
Summary: #10: And forever is he vigilant. —HitsuHina. [Collection of short stories and drabbles; Mostly IchiRuki and HitsuHina]
1. ღ1: Stay—HitsuღHina

**Anthology: Our Feelings**

by Her Pretty Smile

* * *

**Synopsis:** #1: HitsuHina. "I—If I tell you not to go... will you stay?" Ice-green eyes widened for a full four seconds, then, slowly, their gaze averted towards the ground. "..."

**Warning:** The fic will have a 'complete' status since it consists of complete oneshots and drabbles and short stories and all. I will just post randomly or post more and more until forever. ;)

However, this will not exceed 200 oneshots/chapters.

Also, this oneshot is unbeta-ed; may contain errors or any of the sort.

As for the pairings, it will all vary. But these pairings will be dominant:

1\. **IchiRuki** [Ichigo &amp; Rukia]

2\. **HitsuHina** [Hitsugaya &amp; Hinamori]

These ones will show up occasionally:

1\. **UlquiHime** [Ulquiorra &amp; Orihime]

2\. **IshiHime **[Uryuu &amp; Orihime]

3\. **GinRan** [Gin &amp; Rangiku]

4\. **RuRen angst** [Renji &amp; Rukia]

5\. **IchiHime angst **[Ichigo &amp; Orihime]

6\. **KaiRu **[Kaien &amp; Rukia]

7\. **ShiYori** [Shinji &amp; Hiyori]

8\. **UraYoru** [Kisuke &amp; Yoruichi]

9\. **KenHana** [Kenpachi &amp; Unohana]

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach. Kubo Tite owns it.

**Genres:** Romance/Drama

* * *

**#1:** Stay

:-_HitsuHina_-:

* * *

RAINDROPS FELL MERCILESSLY ON Soul Society, bringing with it a dark, gloomy aura that was felt by many present in the area.

Especially two people who were unfortunate enough to be outside, their bodies dripping wet and their hairs matting against their skin uncomfortably.

However, these kinds of things were far from their minds right now.

"Hitsugaya-kun..." Hinamori took an apprehensive, hesitant step towards her childhood friend, her eyes imploring and dark with worry.

The latter had long since stopped in his tracks, yet not once did he turn around. However, his tight grip on the hilt of his katana did not lessen one bit, showing her a slight slip of vulnerability from his usual uncaring façade. He, like her, was also experiencing a rush of overwhelming emotions, but he was considerably good at hiding it than her. Where she was clouded with her emotions and felt a strong need to show them fearlessly, he tended to conceal his own, deeming it unnecessary and insignificant.

However, in times when the situation called for it, he never hesitated to show his emotions.

And now he was slowly crumbling because of them.

_Hitsugaya-kun... I never really know what you're thinking..._ She hesitated in her steps, squeezing her hands together and biting her lower lip. She was scared, she knew. Scared that she was going to lose someone, someone who was important to her and had a special place in her heart.

Years ago, she spent so many moments with the boy in front of her, so many that she couldn't keep count of how many times she had come over to his house, given him watermelons, slept over, and had conversations that bordered on a unique kind of friendship she had with Hitsugaya Toushirou.

Now, she felt scared. So scared that she was going to lose him if she didn't do something.

And she would do everything—_anything at all_—to make him stay.

_But..._

"Hitsugaya-kun..." she repeated in a considerably stronger voice than before, her gaze bravely and steadily resting on the back of his head. "Please don't go."

Silence lapsed between them after the words came out of her mouth. The rain, however, did not stop. Though it did lessen slightly, the drops splattering on the ground were louder than ever, the sound echoing in her ears.

There was another moment of painful silence before he finally spoke, his voice holding a low, resigned tone to it.

"Hinamori... Why are you here?"

She cast him an incredulous look despite knowing full well that he couldn't see it.

But she knew that he could sense it nevertheless.

"I came to stop you from leaving," she answered with an overwhelming emotion in her tone. "Hitsugaya-kun, don't you realize that you're being given a suicide mission? Don't you realize that you'd been given options because of that? _Why_ did you choose to go through with this? _Why_ are you choosing to risk your life for this?!" she burst out, frustrated tears pooling in her eyes.

His body stiffened as the realization dawned on him in an instant. "You... You were listening," he said, a hint of incredulity colouring his voice.

"I—It was an accident," she stammered. "I didn't mean to, but when I heard some words I never imagined I would hear, I couldn't help but listen more." Her voice cracked a little.

His head, very slowly, slightly inclined towards her, giving her a partial view of his downcast eyes. "I'm better suited for this mission, Hinamori," he told her quietly. "And I would gladly give my life for Soul Society if need be. I am a captain; we had trained and worked ourselves knowing the risks of getting this position."

"No!" she shouted. "Please, Hitsugaya-kun... _Don't go_!" she pleaded, the tears in her eyes falling in rivulets. "Don't leave me... _please_... You're... You're the only one left... One who's special to me... I—_I can't lose you after I'd lost Aizen-taichou_!"

At that, his eyes widened and his body went rigid in shock. "Hi—Hinamori..."

There was a long moment of silence between them before she spoke.

"Shirou-chan..." she whispered, sounding sad and the slightest bit resigned. "I—I've always seen you as someone really special to me. Because you were always there for me, protecting me. I—I can't tell you how much I'm grateful for that... So... I—I'll ask you this one last time... And no matter what your answer is... I'll—I'll respect it." She took a quick, deep breath before staring straight into his eyes. "This time... I—If I tell you not to go... will you stay?"

Ice-green eyes widened for a full four seconds, then, slowly, their gaze averted towards the ground. "..."

"Hitsugaya-kun—"

She was cut off when she saw a small smile tugging at his lips. "I've told you so many times, didn't I?" he admonished with the slightest of teasing. "Not _'Hitsugaya-kun'_, but _'Hitsugaya-_taichou_'_."

She stared at him, eyes wide and with a bit of wonder etched on her expression.

He took that moment to turn around fully, letting his features soften in front of her. "...Yeah, I would," he said softly.

She felt slightly confused at his last statement. "E—Eh...?"

"Yes, I would... Hinamori," he repeated patiently.

She blinked, and then the answer came to her in an instant.

She smiled, feeling overwhelmingly glad and relieved. "I—I'm glad... I'm so glad... Thank you... _Shirou-chan_."

He took a step closer to her, and suddenly the rain seemed to have let up. "Aa. I'll stay... _Momo_."

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N:** My very first HitsuHina and Bleach fanfic! :3 So, was it good? Were they OOC or something? Oh dear, I'm seriously nervous. Please, don't hesitate to tell me what you think. :)

**A/N (5/8/14):** REVISED! :) Because some of the dialogues seemed a little awkward... -.-


	2. ღ2: Someday, We'll Meet Again—IchiღRuki

**Anthology: Our Feelings**

by Her Pretty Smile

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**Synopsis:** #2: IchiRuki. Ichigo's thoughts in episode 342.

**Warning:** Unbeta-ed; may contain mistakes or any of the sort.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach.

**Genres:** Romance/Drama/Slight Angst

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**#2:** Someday, We'll Meet Again

:-_IchiRuki_-:

* * *

ICHIGO KNOWS WHAT'S HAPPENING to him. He knows far too well.

When Rukia mentions him not using shunpo, he instantly finds a counter, not wanting to show weakness. Not in front of anyone, and especially not in front of her.

And then he sees her looking at the ice-skating rink with something in her eyes.

He decides that he will take her there tomorrow.

* * *

-;-

* * *

WHEN HE SPOTS HER with a solemn, almost sorrowful look on her face, he somehow knows what happened.

But he just greets her in the same normal, casual manner he always does, knowing that speaking up on the topic will not help his situation at all.

* * *

-;-

* * *

THE FOLLOWING DAY, HE takes her ice skating with his friends, and when she asks him why, he says that he'd noticed the way she was looking at the rink before.

She looks at him for a moment with somewhat startled eyes before laughing. He knows why this is so, but he just waves it off.

When they're in the rink, he takes her hand and guides her. Then, when he thinks she can do it by herself, he lets go.

He thinks it's amusing the way she tries to grab his hand when she thinks she's going to fall. And then, just as he'd expected, she holds her balance in seconds.

But then she stumbles and he immediately takes a hold of her hands.

She sighs this off, but he can tell that she enjoys ice skating far more than what she shows outwardly.

* * *

-;-

* * *

WHEN THE FIREWORKS OCCUR, he looks up at the night sky. He stares at the bright colours exploding in the darkness and inadvertently catches a glimpse of her face.

She's staring up at the fireworks with awe and wonder, and her smile suddenly looks a lot like it's shining a lot brighter than the different colours in the sky.

* * *

-;-

* * *

WHEN THEY WALK HOME together that night, she tells him that she had fun. Then they talk for a while before_ the_ beeping sound occurs.

He immediately breaks into a run, all the while asking her where the Hollow is.

But then when she calls his name, he stops, and he can see the hesitation in her eyes.

But in the end, she still lets him fight, and he's grateful for that.

* * *

-;-

* * *

AS EXPECTED, HE CAN'T fend off the Hollow, and when she saves him and takes him to the roof, he apologizes softly for getting in her way.

And then she surprises him by declaring that he isn't in her way and that she will always help him.

Because they're _nakama_.

With that, he smiles softly.

When she freezes the Hollow's legs just as he'd told her to, he does the final Getsuga Tenshou...

...and feels his reiatsu slowly disappearing.

The last thing he sees, however, is her worried face, and when he closes his eyes, he knows that he has no regrets.

* * *

-;-

* * *

WHEN HE WAKES UP, he realizes that he's been sleeping for a while now.

He then reveals to the people who are in his room that he knew that his powers are fading and tells her that he also knew that she was ordered to stop him from fighting.

Then he asks to go outside.

When he does, he feels odd. He can't sense any spirits anymore.

He turns to look at her, and he realizes that she's slowly fading from his sight.

She tells him with a melancholic face, "This is goodbye... Ichigo."

"Seems that way, isn't it?" he replies softly.

"What's this? Don't look so sad," she says teasingly with a mock-smug air, even going so far as to pat him on the stomach. "Even if you can no longer see me, I am still able to see you."

"What the hell? That's nothing to be happy about," he says, slightly annoyed. "And I don't look sad!"

Then their proximity is suddenly at about half an arm's length, and he looks away slightly while she, on the other hand, lowers her head.

"Give everybody my regards," he says quietly, trying to sound casual.

"I will." Her voice sounds quieter than his.

He turns his head towards her and looks at her with a soft, almost sad expression.

When she's about to almost fade away from his sight, she looks up, and he sees the vulnerable, sorrowful look on her face.

"Bye, Rukia..."

And she disappears.

Looking up at the sky, he allows a soft smile on his face.

"_Thank you_."

* * *

**A/N:** My very first shot at IchiRuki. Was it okay? It took a lot out of me to capture the whole scene, but I think this is the best I can do for now. :)


	3. ღ3: His Feelings—HitsuღHina

**Anthology: Our Feelings**

by Her Pretty Smile

* * *

**Synopsis:** #3: HitsuHina. They are lying on the grass like they often did years ago. She's sleeping peacefully beside him, their faces only about an inch apart. And as he watches her, he thinks about his feelings.

**Warning:** Unbeta-ed; may contain mistakes or any of the sort.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach.

**Genres:** Romance/Friendship

* * *

**#3:** His Feelings

:-_HitsuHina_-:

* * *

HE CLOSES HIS EYES, feeling the gentle brushing of the wind against his skin and keeps silent as her soft, melodious voice drifts through his ears, her somewhat lively chatter comforting him inside.

He listens subtly as she talks about her everyday routine, about how she manages the 5th Squad well even if she's only by herself. He listens and listens and gives occasional replies whenever the moment calls for it until her voice slowly trails off with the breeze.

At that, he opens his eyes and finds himself staring into her peaceful-looking face, her mouth parting as she breathes quietly. His eyes widen slightly as he realizes their proximity, but he eventually relaxes and lets a small smile curl his lips.

_How nostalgic..._ he thinks. _It seems like yesterday when we often lay here on the grass and just stare up at the sky while enjoying each other's company..._

But now, they aren't little kids anymore.

He knows what he feels about her. He isn't _that _dense. He knows that his feelings had long since stepped outside the boundaries of friendship and sibling-like bonds.

He knows that but doesn't act on it.

Because he doesn't want the possibility of their friendship breaking.

He had come close to losing her so many times.

He doesn't want to lose her again just because of him.

And so he just stares at her sleeping face, remembering vividly in his mind why he loves her so much.

It's because she's Hinamori Momo, his childhood friend. His thread of light when he comes close to the darkness. His precious person who he will give his all to protect.

She's pure and innocent and he wants to keep her that way.

Even after Aizen betrayed her, she's slowly picking up the pieces.

He knows that she's a strong person.

Which is why he doesn't worry about her anymore.

Because he knows that she can pick herself up easily.

A small, soft smile curls his lips. "Hmph. Never knew you're this dense, Hinamori..."

She responds with a quiet sigh in her slumber.

_The sky is getting dark_, he notices.

He turns back to her and watches her a little more.

_If only we can be this peaceful often..._

"Good night..." He slowly closes his eyes, the smile still on his face. "...Momo."

_I love you... idiot._

It isn't long before he eventually falls asleep.

* * *

**A/N:** So I'm on a roll with this anthology idea (I've already come up with concepts and outlines and summaries for 46 oneshots!) and I'm thinking of putting a KenHana drabble next. But do you guys think it's too soon for another pairing?


	4. ღ4: Only To You—KenღHana

**Anthology: Our Feelings**

by Her Pretty Smile

* * *

**Synopsis:** #4: KenHana. She started to fall, but then his hand instinctively shot out to catch her from behind. And he froze in place momentarily as he realized that he's feeling the emotion he had least expected to feel—_alarm_. Drabble-ish. [Manga Spoilers]

**Warning:** Unbeta-ed; may contain mistakes or any of the sort. Then, again, I will warn you about spoilers. Read at your own risk.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach.

**Genres:** Drama/slight Angst/slight Romance

* * *

**#4:** Only To You

:-_KenHana_-:

* * *

WHEN HE HEARD ABOUT it, he was excited—no, _thrilled_—at the thought of fighting the very first person who he had enjoyed fighting with. In fact, it had been a long time since they'd fought, and it had also been a while since he'd seen her—this familiar face in front of him.

Her hair was free of that thick braid and was flowing freely down to her waist. Her eyes held the slightest bit of amusement and anticipation. Her smile was very small yet noticeable.

He knew that she was absolutely itching to fight, too.

But then something happened when nearing their conclusion.

It was all going smoothly. He was all bloodied and so was she. She healed herself and fought again. He didn't—or rather, _couldn't_—heal himself yet he continued to fight.

When he struck her that seemed to be his finishing blow, he realized that she was looking at him with the eyes of someone who was finally free of regrets. He didn't understand why that was the case, but at this point, he couldn't really give himself time to think about that.

Blood spurted from her wound, and he expected her to heal it just as she always did.

But she didn't.

And he watched in shock as gravity pulled her down.

He stood there, his body seemingly frozen in place. It was only for a moment, but emotions started to buzz inside him, confusing him slightly.

He'd always relied on his instinct.

She started to fall, but then his hand instinctively shot out to catch her from behind. And he froze in place momentarily as he realized that he's feeling the emotion he had least expected to feel—_alarm_.

_Why_…?

_Why should you die?_

Those were the thoughts that plagued his mind as he looked at her face.

And the words that suddenly came out of his mouth were the words that he'd never expected to say in his lifetime to _anybody_ other than the little girl he'd taken in a long time ago.

"_Don't die_."

* * *

**A/N:** Finished! :3 Was it okay? Was Kenpachi OOC?


	5. ღ5: The Sort-of Confession—IchiღRuki

**Anthology: Our Feelings**

by Her Pretty Smile

* * *

**Synopsis:** #5: IchiRuki. The spirit of a young teenage girl prods him about his love life, and somewhere along the way, Ichigo finds himself talking about the one woman he has always found so different and special from the others.

**Warning:** Unbeta-ed; may contain mistakes or any of the sort.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach.

**Genres:** Romance/Humour/Friendship

**Authoress' Note:** I don't think I have a good sense of humour, so please forgive my lame attempts. :'(

* * *

**#5:** The Sort-of Confession

:-_IchiRuki_-:

* * *

"YOU WANT ME TO talk to you about my love life?" Ichigo repeated in disbelief.

The ghost of the pretty teenage girl smiled up at him, radiating a suspicious kind of innocence. "Yes. Please tell me about it, handsome shinigami onii-san." Her eyes looked up at him pleadingly.

He scowled. "Compliments like that don't work on me, you know. And I don't have a... 'love life'." His tone turned uncomfortable while saying the term.

"Eh?" She gave him a look of pure disbelief. "But surely you must have one! With the way you look, onii-san, you must have one!"

He rubbed the back of his head in slight annoyance. _What's with her and my looks?_ he wondered. _And how the heck can I perform konsō on her when she's so stubborn?_

She gave a pout. "Mou, onii-san! I've been deprived of love lives ever since I was born! The least you can do is tell me something about it before I go to Soul Kingdom or whatever!"

_She's stubborn, all right..._ "Soul Society," he corrected almost absently.

"Whatever. Come on, onii-san! Please? Surely you must be interested in at least _one_ girl!" she prodded.

"I'm not interested in anyone," he said patiently.

"Eh? Well..." She looked thoughtful for a moment. "What about a girl who's a really close friend of yours? Or a best friend? Someone who's really special or precious to you?"

He was about to say no when a face suddenly came to mind.

The girl noticed his hesitation and promptly squealed. "I KNEW IT! So who's the girl, onii-san? Tell me about her!"

Ichigo sighed, knowing that she wouldn't stop bothering him if he wouldn't tell her what she wanted him to tell.

"All right, fine. But let me say this: she and I aren't interested in each other like that."

She gave him a knowing look. "If you say so, onii-san," she chirped.

He frowned at her liveliness in the topic, then let out a sigh before he began talking.

Unbeknownst to him, a big smile had appeared on her face.

"Her name's Rukia. Kuchiki Rukia. She's also a shinigami like I am."

"How did you two meet?" she asked curiously.

"We met when I was a human back then. A Hollow was after me, and in the process, it attacked my family. I felt really helpless at that time. I couldn't protect them, and I could only watch my father and my sisters as they were lying on the ground, injured." A small smile graced his features. "But Rukia saved me. She saved me and my family by giving me her shinigami powers. She made me into a person who can protect the ones I want to protect."

The girl squealed again. "Aww! That's so sweet, onii-san! And you even call her by her first name!"

"That's because we trust each other," he answered calmly.

"Then does that mean she calls you by your first name, too?"

He was suddenly feeling slightly uncomfortable with the way this was going. "Yeah."

"As I thought!" she chirped. "Can you tell me what you think of her, onii-san?"

He raised an eyebrow. "To me, she's... a very special person."

"Do you want to protect her?"

"Of course I do."

"Do you want her to be by your side forever?"

He frowned. _What kind of question is that?_ "...Sure," he answered hesitantly. It was true after all. He couldn't really imagine a world without Rukia. Even in the seventeen months that she'd been gone, he had these dreams about him chasing her. He even thought about her once in a while, wondering what she was doing.

And even if he wouldn't admit it, he was actually kind of lonely when she hadn't been around.

_I actually missed her... a little._

"Awww!" the girl squealed again. "Next! Do you like her?"

"Uh... yes? She's a good friend."

She scowled at his obviously wrong thoughts. "Okay, onii-san. Let me rephrase it: Do you love Rukia-nee-san?"

His eyes widened. "Where the hell did that come from?"

"Come on, onii-san! Do you or do you not love Rukia-nee-san? Just answer my question and I'll go to Spirit Society!"

His eyes narrowed and he took out Zangetsu. "All right, that's enough. I'm performing konsō on you now, kid. And it's _Soul Society_."

"_Wait_! Onii-sa—"

He tapped the hilt of Zangetsu on her forehead, and through the blue light, she could see a soft smile forming on his face.

"You're right. I guess I do love her." He grinned at her briefly. "Don't tell anyone, you hear?"

Before the girl disappeared, a mischievous, knowing smirk appeared on her face. "Thanks for telling us, onii-san."

He frowned. _Us?_

"...Ichigo."

The latter instantly froze.

"R—Rukia...?!"

He turned around and found himself face-to-face with the one he and the girl had been talking about.

_That_—_That brat...! She knew Rukia was there when I talked! Damn it_—

"Ichigo," Rukia said in a flat voice, an unreadable expression on her face.

He gulped. He was _so_ screwed. "H—Hai...?"

A moment of silence passed by.

"Why did you take so long to perform konsō on that girl?" she demanded.

He blinked. "W—What...?"

"You just chatted with her like there was no tomorrow, you idiotic fool!" She smacked him on the head. "A shinigami should perform duties as fast as possible!"

"Nani?!" _So she didn't hear?_

"Hmph. Come on, let's go. You had me wait for a full fifteen minutes, so you owe me some Chappy ice cream!" She started to march off.

"Hey! Wait! _Rukia_!" He tried to keep up with her fast pace. "There's no such thing as a Chappy ice cream, stupid!"

"Hey, I saw one in an ice cream shop!"

He gaped at her in disbelief. "_Seriously_...?"

They walked in comfortable silence.

She turned her head towards him who was walking behind her, a small smile gracing her features. "Ichigo..."

He looked at her. "Yeah? What is it?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For buying me Chappy ice cream."

He twitched. "I haven't even bought it yet. And I have no intention to."

She gave a laugh that sounded pleasantly like bells. "I love you too, fool," she said warmly before turning her head back and running towards her gigai.

He stood dumbfounded in his spot. _What... What the..._ His face turned as red as a tomato and he could feel steam coming out of his ears. _She heard!_

"O—Oi... Rukia! _Oi_! W—Wait for me!" He ran after her.

And all the while, he could still hear her laugh ringing in his ears.

* * *

-;-

* * *

"SO WHEN I SAW a girl behind him, I just knew, you know! It's a woman's intuition!" the girl said proudly to a guy who she'd 'befriended'—or rather, _forced_ to talk to her. "I made the shinigami onii-san blurt out his true feelings while silently telling the girl to stay. And it worked! He told me he loved her! It was so sweet!"

The boy just looked at her dully. _When am I finally gonna be free...?_

* * *

**A/N:** In Japan, those who are close friends call each other by their first names. :")

I just wrote this all in an HOUR! Wow. XD


	6. ღ6: Flaw—Onesided IchiღHime

**Anthology: Our Feelings**

by Her Pretty Smile

* * *

**Synopsis:** #6: Onesided IchiHime, Mentions of IchiRuki. She loves him, she's sure of that. She loves him for him, and she will do everything—_anything_—for him. But what she does painfully know is that she doesn't really understand him, and that's the flaw in her feelings.

**Warning:** Unbeta-ed; may contain mistakes or any of the sort.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach.

**Authoress' Note:** Onesided IchiHime, mentions of IchiRuki. This drabble is long and full of Orihime's feelings towards Ichigo along the way with a half-hearted conclusion at the end. IchiRuki fans can calm down because (1) this is completely onesided, and (2) there are slightly subtle mentions of IchiRuki.

Remember, this anthology consists mostly of IchiRuki and HitsuHina, so it should be very obvious that _I do not ship IchiHime._

I only wrote this because I've been wanting to write this for a long time now in order to point out the huge difference between IchiRuki and IchiHime. I hope I can achieve that perfectly, though...

**Genres:** Romance (onesided)/Angst/Hurt/Comfort

* * *

**#6:** Flaw

:-_IchiHime_-:

[centric]

* * *

INOUE ORIHIME KNOWS SHE'S in love.

It can't be some sort of simple crush, right? Because she has always liked him despite their classmates commenting about his scary face and his trademark scowl.

At first, though, she was only interested in his unusual yet somehow compelling personality, but as time passed by, her feelings developed into a crush and evolved to the point of 'like'.

She wasn't in love with him at the beginning, of course. But then when their adventures together with the others began, her feelings grew stronger, and before she knew it, she had fallen in love with him.

She knows full well that it is only a recent, underdeveloped young love. But all that matters is that she loves him, right?

Sadly, he doesn't feel the same way.

He never looks at her the way she always looks at him. He never shows her such a soft, tender expression he'd once showed to a certain someone.

And most of all, he's never really himself whenever they're together.

With her, he's a little polite and subtly careful with his words. He treats her gently and looks at her the way one looks at a... mere _friend_.

He never bickers with her. Nor does he argue with her. He never tries to provoke her or get angry with her. He never says what's on his mind and he never really becomes... _alive_ in their conversations.

It's unlike what he is when he's with Rukia.

Rukia... completes him. She's a very special person to him.

She can cheer him up so easily whenever he feels down, she can bring back his hopes, and she doesn't need him to protect her because they protect _each other._

Orihime is aware of all that, but her hope doesn't diminish.

But then comes the inevitable horror: either her friends die, or she will go to Las Noches.

She picks the latter, of course, even if she is not really given any choice.

She gets the chance to say goodbye to someone. She thinks about Tatsuki, but then she eventually chooses _him_.

So she goes into his room. She sees him sleeping peacefully with bandages all over his body.

She sees his face and his parted mouth.

Something stirs inside of her and she goes closer to him. Then, with a sudden desire, she clutches his hand and moves her face towards his, inching closer to his lips.

_Closer..._

_Closer..._

Then she pulls away.

She can't do it after all.

* * *

-;-

* * *

WHEN SHE HEARS THAT he has come to save her, joy bursts in her chest, and she can't seem to suppress her smile.

That's when she knows that he will save her.

But then they start to fall apart.

_Chad... Rukia..._

And then... _him._

Nothing agonizes her more than to heal him while being aware of his empty, lifeless eyes.

She knows she can save him, but she is only setting him up for the possibility of death again.

She's relieved when he gets up healed, but then he fights Grimmjow, and then she sees those frightening Hollow eyes.

She doesn't want to admit it, but she has become afraid of him. Those eyes... They remind her so much of her older brother.

They remind her of death and insanity.

So when he saves her from a blow and looks at her, she flinches.

She can't help it; those eyes scare her so much that she just wants to shrink away from his gaze.

He's not himself. He's not Kurosaki Ichigo.

He's a _Hollow_.

Just like her brother had been.

She sees his momentary pained expression just before he goes back into the fight and she feels the slightest bit of guilt.

But he's a Hollow, right? Hollows don't feel anguish. They don't feel sad.

They don't feel anything... right?

Nel's voice suddenly snaps her out of her reverie, and her encouraging words urge her to do the same.

The guilt comes back to her again, and, with difficulty, she forces herself to believe that he is still there, that a small part of him is still intact.

So she shouts his name with tears in her eyes. She tells him that he doesn't have to win.

Because if he is still there, she doesn't want him to get hurt just for her.

She doesn't want him to die.

Because if he does, she won't get to see _Kurosaki Ichigo_ who should still be there, again.

When the fight's over, his mask disappears when he goes over to her, and she can't help but feel pleasantly relieved.

_He's back_, she thinks, glad.

And when he hauls her up, she blushes, flustered.

The butterflies in her stomach can't seem to stop their fluttering.

But then her happiness doesn't last long.

She becomes unable to help him again when she is held in place by the Espada No. 5's companion.

She is forced to watch helplessly as he gets the life beaten out of him.

She is forced to watch him get hurt again.

_No..._

_Stop..._

_Please..._

Then, after what seems like an eternity of agony, Zaraki Kenpachi saves him.

She feels the relief wash over her once again.

But when she comes up to him, he tells her to heal Nel first, and a twinge of jealousy plants itself in her chest before it disappears as quickly as it came, making an illusion that it hasn't been there in the first place.

She hesitates. Should she really heal the little girl first? Yes, she protected him, and she's grateful for that, but...

After a moment, she eventually agrees.

But not before giving him a worried glance.

* * *

-;-

* * *

AFTER THE FIGHT, SHE somehow gets herself kidnapped again, and now she's alone with Ulquiorra in the throne room.

He walks towards her, and she looks at him.

When he's at a respectable distance from her, he asks her if she's scared. He tells her, in a roundabout way, why she should be, but then she startles him slightly when she replies with a 'no'.

Because she knows that her friends came to save her, and because of that, she believes that her heart is already with all of them.

She just fails to mention that _most_ of her heart is with a certain person.

When Ichigo arrives though, she's filled with inexplicable happiness and joy, but then they turn into fear.

What if he dies?

What if he dies and leaves her?

What will she do then?

She knows she should help him, but something inside her prevents her from doing so.

She knows that Ulquiorra won't hurt her even if she intervenes, but…

_No matter what I do, he'll die anyway…_

She instantly mentally slaps herself. Why is she thinking such things?

She should help him. No, she _has_ to help him.

Because she told him that he shouldn't get hurt.

So she casts a shield just before Ulquiorra's sword can slash him.

But then the latter sends her into confusion once again about her feelings by asking her why she helped just now.

_And why she didn't do it earlier._

Before she can deny, though, Ichigo interrupts, and she's grateful for that.

She isn't ready for this yet.

* * *

-;-

* * *

DESPAIR.

Fear.

Those are the emotions she's feeling right now when she sees his lifeless body.

_No… Kurosaki-kun…_

_Don't leave me!_

_NO!_

She wants him alive. She wants him to save her. She wants him to be here with here right now.

Because she's scared.

Feeling torn, she begs him.

She begs him to save her.

And to her relief, he does.

But he isn't himself anymore.

_No…_

_I did this…_

_Why…?_

_Didn't I tell myself… not to depend on Kurosaki-kun anymore…?_

* * *

-;-

* * *

THE SCENE IS SO sad and heartbreaking to watch, but she can't look away.

Because this might just be the last time Ichigo and Rukia will see each other again.

She is ashamed of herself for feeling a little joyful at this, and she quickly erases that emotion.

Rukia is her friend.

So she shouldn't be feeling this way.

She bites her lower lip briefly. The two of them can't even bring themselves to look into each other's eyes.

They just pretend that everything is all casual, but deep inside, she knows that they know it isn't.

Then, after a moment, she knows that Rukia is now fading from Ichigo's sight. She can see it from the widening of his eyes.

And then his features soften considerably, causing her breath to catch in her throat.

He's never showed that kind of expression before.

Except for that one time when she was healing Rukia and he was staring at her with that same look on his face.

She swallows, feeling heavy in her heart as Rukia, whose head was lowered, looks up at him with the saddest expression she has ever seen her have.

She even, in the slightest bit, looks like she's about to cry.

Orihime wants to cry, too, but… it's not because her friend is going to leave them.

It's because she feels like she has already lost Ichigo.

* * *

-;-

* * *

IN THE SEVENTEEN MONTHS of him not having his powers... In that time when he is now a normal human...

She never makes a move.

She doesn't make a great effort to stay close to him. She doesn't try her best to get to know him better.

She doesn't plan to make him hers, and she also doesn't plan on confessing.

All she can do, she knows, is fantasize.

Because in truth, she's a coward. She's afraid of the rejection. She's afraid of him breaking her heart.

So she doesn't do anything and is only content to be a part of his life.

Then the climax of her impending realization comes.

Her head is filled with all these memories of her precious person. He has taken care of her, he has always been there for her, he has always been with them in their adventures, and he has always been so kind to her.

And now Ichigo treats him like an enemy.

She can't understand why. Tsukishima has always been their friend, so why?

_Why, Kurosaki-kun?_

So she fights against him, hoping that he'll come to his senses.

But then she sees familiar people—Toushirou, Ikkaku, and others—and is glad that they are here, thinking that they'll be able to stop Ichigo.

And she becomes confused when they don't.

But why? Tsukishima is a friend.

Then someone knocks her unconscious, and before the darkness claims her, she thinks…

_They're siding with Kurosaki-kun…_

_They trust him…_

_I'm in love with him, but…_

_Why didn't I… trust him, too…?_

* * *

**A/N:** Uh huh. This is an IchiHime angst oneshot. I don't really like IchiHime, and I truly don't think that Orihime loves Ichigo, because if she really does love him, she should trust him no matter what. She shouldn't also depend on him! Damn, she really blew it off in the Hueco Mundo Arc. I was really disappointed. (I'm sorry to those IchiHime fans… T.T) I think she just deserves someone else, because if she keeps on 'loving' Ichigo, she'll only get hurt in the end.

Sigh. Can you imagine it? Even _Byakuya_ trusts Ichigo. Even when Tsukishima stabbed him with his Fullbring, even if he inserted himself into Byakuya's past… Byakuya still considers him an enemy _just because Tsukishima is Ichigo's enemy._

Another long sigh. As for Chad, well… he isn't really _in love_ with Ichigo, is he? He's just his friend. They aren't even best friends yet.

And Keigo, Mizuiro, and Tatsuki aren't even close to him. Karin and Yuzu, on the other hand, are still childish and immature because of their age, so they naturally don't understand.

Okay, I think I've ranted enough. *dodges rotten tomatoes thrown by enraged IchiHime fans* I'M SORRY! But… wait… what are you guys doing here? This is supposed to be a mostly IchiRuki and HitsuHina anthology, right…? Oh, so you like IchiRuki and IchiHime the same? …Oh, I'm screwed.

Whatever. I'll just hide. -.-

Anyway, the next oneshot will be an IchiRuki, and the next one after that will be a HitsuHina. :)


	7. ღ7: Kneel—IchiღRuki

**Anthology: Our Feelings**  
by Her Pretty Smile

* * *

**Synopsis:** #7: A true man kneels. IchiRuki.

**Warning:** Unbeta-ed; may contain mistakes or any of the sort.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach.

* * *

**#7:** Kneel  
[_IchigoRukia_]

* * *

"OW!" RUKIA CRIES OUT as she falls to the ground with a bump.

Ichigo lets out a sigh. "What's the matter?"

"I think I just stepped on something."

"Which is?"

"...Never mind. It is probably out of the way now." With grace, she stands up, chin up and dignified in her steps as she walks past him.

"Wait," he calls out.

She turns her head towards him, pride forgotten and expression inquisitive, having detected the sudden softness in his tone. "What is it?"

He slowly makes his way over to her, and when he gets near, he suddenly drops to his knees in front of her, shocking her completely.

"O—Oi!" she says, flustered. "What are you doing, Ichigo?"

"Just shut up," he grunts. "I'm trying to tie your shoelaces. They got loose."

Blinking, she looks down, and then blushes slightly (for some reason she cannot fathom) at the sight of the tall, proud shinigami substitute working his way on her shoes.

It warms her up inside and (strangely) sends butterflies fluttering through her stomach.

She smiles at him softly as he finishes and stands up, his expression a bit sheepish and more agitated, perhaps not believing what he had done.

"Let's go," he mumbles.

"Thank you," she says.

"...No problem."

And as they walk side by side, their hands occasionally brushing against each other, they feel content.

* * *

**END**


	8. ღ8: I Do Trust You—HitsuღHina

**Anthology: Our Feelings**

by Her Pretty Smile

* * *

**Synopsis:** #8: But deep inside, she knew that it wasn't that she didn't trust him. She only did it because she wanted him to prove to her that the letter was wrong. —HxH

**Warning:** Unbeta-ed; may contain mistakes or any of the sort.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach.

**Authoress' Note:** This oneshot was made because I seriously don't believe that Hinamori trusts Aizen _that_ much. This is just a hypothetical guess, but I like to think that this is true. I just delved deeper into her feelings, so I hope you all don't mind. ;)

* * *

**#8:** I Do Trust You

: —_HitsuHina_—:

* * *

AS SHE RAN TOWARDS the direction of his reiatsu, she clutched the letter tightly in her hand. For some reason, even if it was in Aizen's own handwriting, even if she trusted her beloved captain deeply, something just wasn't right.

Her Shirou-chan wouldn't do something like that.

She knew him. She cared for him. She respected him a little. She grew up together with him. She trusted him and his judgment.

Which was why she couldn't truly believe that he would do something like killing Aizen.

If there was one thing Hitsugaya Toushirou was, it was being reasonable.

He had no reason to kill Aizen. If he had a grudge against him, she would know. She knew him, after all. She could sometimes read him from his eyes, and he could be very readable in vulnerable situations.

But she could not detect any hostile intent from him whenever Aizen was around. Not even a heated glare nor a subtle gritting of teeth. Considering the fact that she could sometimes be observant when it came to her childhood friend, there was no mistake.

Hitsugaya Toushirou couldn't have killed Aizen.

But what conflicted her was the implication that Aizen was planning to deceive her if that was the case. It made no sense; _why_ would he? He was always so kind to her, so gentle. She admired his skill greatly, and she looked up to him like he was a role model.

It all didn't make any sense.

When she sensed that she was getting nearer to Hitsugaya's reiatsu, she slowly stopped in her tracks.

What should she do? Should she confront him about this? But _how_?

_How_ was she going to find out the truth?

Determination filling her eyes, she made her decision.

* * *

—

* * *

SHE HEARD HIS CRY of surprise as she appeared before him, preventing him from attacking Ichimaru. She heard him utter her name with such genuine disbelief in his tone that she broke down inside.

Despite that, she held Tobiume towards his neck, tears falling down her eyes as she confronted him about the contents of the letter.

In her mind, she was screaming _'It isn't true, is it?!_' and _'Aizen-taichō wouldn't lie to me!_'. It was all too much.

As she burst out her emotions to him, she inwardly prayed that he would prove her accusations wrong. She inwardly hoped that she _did_ know him, that he wouldn't do something like that.

But then, she also dreaded the fact that her captain might not be as perfect as he had seemed to be.

[_In a state of denial_.]

However, she was knocked unconscious before she could know the answer that she was looking for, and as the darkness consumed her, she whispered his name—her voice was strangled, _featherlike_—in painful regret.

Her hope was slowly diminishing, and she couldn't stop it.

* * *

—

* * *

SHE FELT MORE CONFUSED than ever when she followed Hitsugaya to the Council. The revelation of the slowly uprising truth was shooting her hope in him skywards, but it was being interrupted occasionally by her own hope in her captain.

It was extremely conflicting when she knew that she trusted both men completely and that she truly didn't know who to believe.

She couldn't even choose between them.

But then Ichimaru Gin appeared and led her to Aizen, who was, to her immense relief, alive after all. She felt _so_ glad and thankful that all thoughts of the letter and Hitsugaya flew out her head, replaced with thoughts of _'Aizen- taichō is alive_!' and _'I was right... Shirou-chan didn't kill him_'.

But then her beloved captain stabbed her, and as blood spurted out of her mouth, she instantly realized the truth.

Hitsugaya didn't kill him, that was true. She'd known that.

But now she knew that Aizen had been deceiving her all along.

At least...

...she didn't make the mistake of trusting Hitsugaya.

Her only mistake was...

..._trusting Aizen._

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N:** And there you have it! Whew, it was all so complicated to write. Anyway, there's also the matter of Hinamori pleading to Hitsugaya to save Aizen, but the reason for that is just too easy. It's very difficult to lose your trust in someone. It's a painful process. Hinamori was just living in her own thoughts of disbelief since... Well, what if a really kind and gentle person who you trust just stabbed you after saying thank you? (Aizen's so twisted -.-) Wouldn't you be in disbelief, too? That's why she thought that Aizen just swerved off the path and could still be saved. [In a state of denial, that's what.]


	9. ღ9: Hypnotism—IchiღRuki

**Anthology: Our Feelings**

by Her Pretty Smile

**Synopsis:** #9: In which poor Rukia is hypnotized, and an enthusiastic Ichigo gleefully takes advantage of this opportunity. However, in the end, his plan just might not work out the way he expects it to... —IxR

**Warning: **Unbeta-ed; may contain mistakes or any of the sort. **This is CRACK. I do not know any form of hypnotism, so the content below contains pure guesswork and mere inference.**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach.

**Requested by:** mrdbznarutofan

**Authoress' Note:** I'm sorry if this seems pretty short, but I just figured that adding more would make the novelty fade so easily. I'm also sorry if this doesn't live up to your expectations. I don't have any experience in writing this kind of story… However, I hope you'll find it at least satisfying.

**#9:** Hypnotism

[_IchiRuki_]

A SWORD SLASHES DOWN, causing the Hollow to disintegrate.

Kuchiki Rukia sighs as she turns to the remaining one Hollow. _I'm almost done..._

"_NO_!" the Hollow roars, standing his ground. "You cannot strike me, shinigami! I still have an ace up my sleeve!" Without further ado, he produces a chain with a circle-shaped pendant out of nowhere, grinning maniacally. "For I have here the mighty power of hypnotism!"

Rukia looks at him blankly. "Hypno... _what_?"

"_Hypnotism_! It will render you completely helpless and I shall have you under my control!" the Hollow laughs maniacally. "Now I shall—_AGH_!"

"_First Dance, Tsukishiro_." Rukia watches in blank interest as her prey struggles to get out of the circle of ice in panic and succeeds by a hair's breadth.

"_HA_! You cannot get rid of me that easily!" He swings the chain like a pendulum in front of her. "Now... I have you, shinigami! You shall become _obedient_!"

Rukia looks at the chain for a long moment before sighing. "_Next Dance_..."

The Hollow's eyes grow wide. "What!? _Wait_! Why didn't it work?!"

"..._Hakuren_."

**:**

"THAT WAS A STUBBORN one," Rukia mutters as she pops back into her gigai. "Now I have to get to Ichigo's..."

"Ah, Kuchiki-san!" Orihime walks over to her with a shopping bag in hand and a pleasant smile on her face.

Rukia smiles back in acknowledgement. "Inoue," she greets. "What brings you here?"

"Oh, I'm actually on my way home to make some dinner with the groceries I bought! Would you like to eat at my apartment for a bit?"

Rukia turns slightly green at the mention of Orihime cooking. "Er... Thanks a lot, Inoue, but—"

Orihime glomps her in excitement. "You'll come, right? I'm sure Kurosaki-kun won't mind!"

"U—Uh..." Rukia is sweating visibly now as she tries to come up with a way as to not be able to eat dinner at Orihime's.

"Kuchiki-san, please come and eat dinner with me! No one _ever_ eats dinner with me!" the orange-haired girl wails, then stops and frowns for a moment. "Except maybe Tatsuki-chan… But on rare occasions!"

Suddenly Rukia is overcome with guilt. It won't hurt to eat her cooking just this once, right?

But she promised Yuzu that she will bring back the latest CD of Chappy's Adventures as soon as possible.

Making her decision, she lets out a deep breath, then starts to tell Orihime that she will definitely eat together next time.

But then a sudden sweeping aura covers her whole body like the rush of a tide, and then she finds herself saying against her will, "I'd love to, Inoue!"

**:**

KUROSAKI ICHIGO RAISES AN eyebrow at Rukia's pale, pallid face.

"What happened to you?" he asks, noticing the way she turns green afterwards. "You look like you wanna puke."

"I was at—oh, _I cannot go back there again_!" she wheezes, running towards the bathroom and letting out the contents in her stomach.

"Where've you been, anyway?" he asks, scratching the back of his head in confusion.

In an instant, her head snaps towards him so quickly that she almost gets whiplash. Ichigo is taken aback by the frantic emotion in her eyes and the wide size they're in.

"I was at Inoue's," she answers promptly and calmly, though her eyes are telling a different story.

"You look strange." He strides over to her and presses a hand to her forehead. She abruptly flinches away, and his eyes narrow.

"Don't move," he says in annoyance.

He is surprised when she immediately obeys; her whole body becomes stiff and unmoving.

"You surely are compliant today," he mutters, touching her forehead with his hand again and feeling her temperature. "You don't seem hot."

"I th—think I know why, I—Ichigo…" Rukia manages to sputter out.

He blinks. "What…?"

"Wait… T—Tell me to move f—first…"

"Huh?" He looks at her as if she is crazy.

She grits her teeth slightly. "Do it, you f—fool…"

"…Uh… Move."

Her limbs break free from her stiff stature, causing her to wheeze as she contemplates her freedom.

"That's it… That's _it_, Ichigo! When someone gives me a direct order or asks me a direct question, I obey or tell the truth respectively!" she says, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him over and over as if he is a plush teddy bear.

Meanwhile, Ichigo's head is spinning with multiple possibilities. "O—Oi… Rukia… _S_—_Stop_…"

She freezes, then abruptly lets him go, causing him to crash onto the ground. "Ah, my apologies, Ichigo… I was too frazzled."

"How did it come to this, anyway?" he grumbles, picking himself up from the floor.

"Well, a Hollow hyp… uh… _hyponized _me…" she tries to explain.

"_Hypnotized_ you? A _Hollow_ hypnotized you?" he squawks, unconsciously correcting her. "Rukia, are you sure you're not—"

She interrupts him with a kick to the shin. "I am _not_ insane, you little—"

"Hey, I never even said anything of the sort!"

"Well, you were about to!"

"How could you know?!"

"Because I know you from head to toe!"

"Oh really?!"

"_Yes_!"

Suddenly, an evil smirk curves his lips and she backs away reflexively.

"Ichigo… I do not like that look in your eyes…" she says warily.

_This is my chance for revenge!_ he thinks gleefully. "Oi, Rukia… Would you mind visiting Byakuya for a bit…?"

The look of horror in her eyes makes him feel omnipotent in just an instant.

"Oh _no_ you _don't_—"

"Oh _yes_ I _can_."

**:**

"HI THERE, BYAKUYA," ICHIGO greets cheerfully as they step into the Sixth Division's office.

Said noble raises an eyebrow at the unusual vibe the pair is projecting. "Hello, Rukia," he says in acknowledge, purposely ignoring Ichigo's protests.

Rukia does not reply. Instead, she covers her mouth and starts sweating profusely.

"Rukia… what is the matter with you?" Byakuya asks in slight concern, noticing the way her face is slowly turning red from the pressure.

"Oi, oi," Ichigo scolds gleefully, "take your hands out of your mouth and say what you want to say to your brother, Rukia…"

Almost instantly, her mouth is uncovered, and she blurts out, "Nii-sama! What salon do you go to to get that shiny hair of yours? Can I braid it in twirls?"

…

…

…

Renji is cheerfully whistling while opening the door and carrying stacks of paperwork for his captain.

…

…

…

Two unseated shinigamis are chattering happily outside the office.

…

…

…

Vice-Captain Matsumoto Rangiku is skipping towards the Third Division and passing by the barracks.

…

…

…

[**BOOM**]

Billions of deadly cherry blossom petals explode from the Sixth Division, causing Renji to shout "_WHAAA_!" in an undignified manner, the two shinigamis to tumble into a nearby river, and Rangiku to be buried in a heap of wood.

("_KUCHIKI-TAICHOU_!" she pouts.)

Meanwhile, Hitsugaya Toushirou and Ukitake Juushiro sees Ichigo and Rukia running for their lives like the devil is at their heels.

"What the—" Toushirou starts, but then he sees Byakuya with a calm, deadly aura about him coming onto the pair's way.

"_Kurosaki… Ichigo_…" The Sixth Division Captain is subtly seething.

Toushirou's features are then schooled into a bored expression. "Ah, no wonder I saw cherry blossom petals flying '_harmlessly'_ in the air."

Ukitake laughs. "Looks like Ichigo-kun's made him really mad this time."

**:**

THEY BOTH HIDE BEHIND a box of crates far, _far_ away from the Sixth Division, Rukia masking her reiatsu and forcefully helping Ichigo mask his.

"You stupid _idiot_!" she seethes. "Now look at what you've done! Nii-sama is really furious now!"

Ichigo throws back his head and snickers uncontrollably. "T—Totally worth it…" he chokes in between laughs.

Rukia looks positively scandalized. "What is the matter with you? Now you've gotten me in trouble with Nii-sama! What has he _ever_ done to you, anyway?"

"Aw, c'mon, Rukia," he says, wiping the tears from his eyes. "You gotta admit that it was fun."

Despite herself, her lips curve up slightly. "Yes, I… I mean, _NO_!" She glares at him. "_You tricked me, you_—"

"Ahaha, lighten up… You're always so tight when it comes to your brother. Loosen up a little. Tell me your true feelings," he encourages.

Suddenly, she freezes, and he sees the pure, unadulterated panic in her eyes (_and it is then that he realizes what he said wrong_) before she speaks uncontrollably.

"I—I—I—_DAMN YOU_, ICHIGO!" she shrieks, turning tomato-red. "I—I _l—like_ you! E—Ever since you r—rescued me and I—_I WILL KILL YOU FOR THIS_!"

And in the end, a red-faced Ichigo is being chased around by an equally red-faced Rukia while she carries around a battleaxe which she had produced out of nowhere. Byakuya has been completely forgotten as he still scours Seireitei for his prey.

The next day, Rukia is cured from her hypnotism after a deep, good night's sleep. Feeling greatly relieved, she takes out her Memory Modifier and uses it on Ichigo.

He looks at her blankly afterwards. "Uh, Rukia…?"

"Yes, Ichigo?" She is looking at him proudly, satisfied that she has done what she can to fix the problem.

"…Why am I in the hospital?"

**END**

**A/N:** Ah, pure craziness. Sorry if it seemed really insane. I wrote this story while I was in the hospital, so I guess my condition must've affected my writing. **XD**

Hope you enjoyed… even just a little bit.


	10. ღ10: Vigilance—HitsuღHina

**Anthology: Our Feelings**

by Her Pretty Smile

* * *

**Synopsis:** #10: Slight AU. And forever is he vigilant. —HitsuHina.

**Warning:** Unbeta-ed; may contain mistakes or any of the sort.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach.

* * *

**#13:** Vigilance

[_MomoToushirou_]

* * *

**I.**

He walks calmly by the seashore. There are broken shell pieces and sharp pebbles that pierce his bare feet as he trudges the sand. The sky is almost completely covered with grey clouds, signalling the near-event of rain. He is glad, though, because he has never liked the hot sun anyway, and prefers the chilly breeze that passes by.

He stops for a moment, breathing in the fresh sea air and taking in the melancholy, beautiful view of the beach. Then, his eyes travel towards the figure who is sitting alone on the sand.

The girl looks no older than fifteen, with dark hair that is neatly tied into a bun which is covered with a light-blue cloth. Her knees are pulled up against her chest with her arms encircling them tightly as if she were cold. Her expression, however, betrays no other emotion aside from sadness as her large brown eyes survey the waters.

Quietly, he sits himself beside her, looking at her impassively. Beneath her once-lively eyes are dark, sunken circles which indicate a great lack of sleep. Her lips are also pale and some skins are peeling off. Her skin looks washed-out and a few pimples are breaking out.

But he thinks that she looks no less than the same girl he spent most of his childhood with. That she is the same girl who had once brought sunshine into his life.

Her eyes well up with unshed tears. His fists consequently clench in frustration and his expression twists into that of anguish. He cannot hear what she is thinking. She does not even talk to herself sometimes when she is alone anymore. It's like most of what he knows about her back then has now faded into a glimpse of a memory.

He cannot do anything but watch as she stands up, lets the tears fall, and goes towards the sea.

**II.**

It has been happening for almost sixteen years now. He would either sit by her side or watch from the sidelines from the moment she wakes up. Then he would gauge her mood and let his brain do the work of concocting all the possible situations or events that would happen later on.

It is all that he can do, after all. Just _observe_.

He cannot even touch her. Nor can he speak to her. He can only watch as the girl he deeply cares about live her life.

A life without him.

It stings him everyday, like a burn you would get by scorching your skin in a fire. His heart twists painfully whenever he's with her, reminded that he and she now live in different worlds, that she is forever out of his grasp.

He is but a shadow in her life.

_Nothing more._

Sometimes he cries. But he never makes a sound. He would only hole himself up in his quarters, feeling the walls of his chest rapidly closing in and crushing his heart. He would then continue to tremble, rattled about the thought of being completely helpless.

He is a failure in being her saviour. He is nothing but _weak_, because he cannot even help her.

Her family abandoned her when she was a baby. He was there when it happened, and in a fit of rage, he struck at her parents, only to have his sword cutting through air as their mortal bodies become transparent during the process. Instead of becoming incredulous at himself due to the fact that he almost hurt a human, he only felt raw, undisputable fury. Without giving up, he kept trying to strike them, but all to no avail.

Panting, he kneeled to her side and tried to cradle her infant body in his arms. However, his hands passed through her like a ghost. It was then that he felt so terrible that he thought he might pass out.

"_Taichō_!" his lieutenant admonished as she watched him bury himself deeper into his paperwork later that day. "If you really want to help Hinamori, you can just go get a gigai at Urahara-san's, can't you? _Why_ are you doing this to yourself?!"

"Sōtaichō-dono told me not to interfere in Hinamori's life." His voice was clear and steady despite the impact of his words. "Hinamori is not a shinigami anymore, Matsumoto. We have a strict rule on fraternizing with humans. We simply live in different worlds. It would break the stability we had built for ourselves."

"But what about Ichigo and his friends?! They're humans too, aren't they?!"

"Kurosaki Ichigo is an exception. He possesses powers far beyond what we have ever seen. And his friends possess reiatsu now. Hinamori, on the other hand, is a _normal_ human. Therefore, there is no reason for us to interfere in her life."

"How can the sōtaichō be so _cruel_?!" Rangiku became teary-eyed. "Hinamori was once a part of us! She deserves to be happy in her next life! How can we _not_ help her?! How about we tell Ichigo about this? He has a way with words! Maybe he can convince sōtaichō—"

"Matsumoto." His tone turned icy. He had never even looked at her once. "You know as well as I do that interfering will only disrupt the balance. Hinamori has to fight her own battles. We should not do it for her. So, starting from now, Hinamori is _never_ to be mentioned again. Do you hear me?"

Rangiku stared shell-shocked at her captain. Her mouth opened slightly as if she was preparing a retort, but no sound came out.

"I _said_, do you hear me, lieutenant?"

"...Yes, captain. I hear you. _Very_ well."

The sound of the door slamming was the last thing he heard before his walls broke down.

**III.**

The waves are unforgiving. They continuously lash out at you, rendering you helpless as the force brings you down.

The storm has finally struck. He tries his best to find her in his panicked state, but his eyes cannot find her anywhere.

After a few moments, however, he finally spots her. She is thrashing about in the waters not too far away from him. Funny, a few minutes ago, she had looked ready to die.

Now, she is fighting for her life.

Looks like she isn't ready for death yet, after all.

When she had stood up, he did the same, wondering what she was going to do. But when she started walking purposefully towards the sea, it hit him instantly.

He tried to stop her. Tried to take a hold of her arms or even her whole body. But his hands only grabbed air.

He panicked as she tried to drown herself. He reached out to her multiple times even though he knew it was useless. Every time his hands passed through her body, a piece of his heart broke. The feeling was horribly agonizing and he almost shut down every time. But he shook it off and again tried frantically to save her.

Now, as he watches her slowly coming to a step towards death, (_and even though the thought of her dying and coming back to Soul Society is granting him high hopes, he still cannot bear to watch her die, and it is not guaranteed that he will find her in Soul Society anyway_) he makes his decision.

_Just once_, he thinks as he runs out of the water and back towards the familiar neighbourhood.

_Just this once, I will break the rules_.

**IV.**

He pants heavily, laboriously when he arrives at Urahara's place.

"Oh, Tenth Captain-san," Urahara greets. "What brings you here? Hey, you're all wet! Let me get you some towels! Tessai-san! Help me out here."

When the towels are in his hands, he immediately begins to dry the young captain. "I thought I sensed your reiatsu early in the morning," Urahara begins conversationally, "but then it was gone as quickly as it appeared—"

_Because I masked it_, Toushirou thinks in between pants.

_Because I do not want anyone to know other than Matsumoto that I am visiting Hinamori._

"—and then your reiatsu spiked a little earlier, but it disappeared once again before I could pinpoint the location! You really don't want anybody to know that—"

"_Give_...!" Toushirou manages to yell in his extremely exhausted state. It had been very tiring to find Hinamori in the heavy waters. "...gigai. P—Please give... me a gigai...! _Now_!"

Urahara stares at him, confounded. "Hitsugaya-san—"

"I don't... have any more time to waste...! _I beg of you_!" His desperation mirrors in his eyes. "_Please_!"

**V.**

She is _dying_.

He knows it very well.

He flash-steps as fast as he can towards her location. When he arrives at the beach, no one is still there.

_In a storm like this_, he thinks wryly, _no one should even be here_.

He sees her head lolling out in the waters and he runs towards her, gritting his teeth. Then, stopping just before the shore, he chants. "_Sōten ni zase_..." His eyes flicker blue. "..._Hyōrinmaru_!"

The water instantly freezes, and it gives him speed as he slides towards her, gigai in hand. Without further ado, he slips inside the vessel, and then he grabs her terrifyingly cold, still body.

(_Finally_. Finally, he holds her in his arms.)

He immediately takes her towards the shore. When he gently places her body on the sand, he quickly goes out of his gigai for a moment and then grips the handle of his sword.

"_Hyōrinmaru_," he whispers.

Almost immediately, the ice encasing the waters breaks into millions of tiny pieces, and then the weather clears, letting the storm have a few last drops before the clouds fade from the sky, replaced by the shy sun peeking out from a few that's left.

He stares at her lifeless body. She is not far gone yet. Her soul has not left its shell, meaning there is still life inside of her. There's still hope for her. She can still go back to her friends. To her foster family. She can even go back to her crush, to that Takumi-_something_.

Who knows if that guy even feels the same way, anyway.

But at least she will not yet be buried underground. He cannot _stand_ imagining it. Even though she is sad with her life now due to the abuse her uncle always gives her whenever her foster parents leave her in his care for a while, she will eventually be happy. He _knows_ it.

The flash drive is still inside the pockets of his shinigami robe. There her foster parents will see the unpleasant video he took of Hinamori and her blasted uncle hitting her over and over in places that cannot be seen visibly.

Looks like he will be breaking the rules not just once, but _twice_, after all.

Kurosaki Ichigo's bad habit must be rubbing off on him.

Thinking this, he swoops down and presses his mortal lips to hers, simultaneously pinching her nose. Then, he breathes his air into her, and he pulls away to push down on her chest four times. He repeats this for a few times before she finally coughs out water.

He hugs her to his chest as she sobs, immensely relieved that she is alive. Her mind does not even register her saviour for the moment.

He does not mind. He only relishes her warmth in his embrace, knowing that he will never feel it again for a long, _long_ time.

**VI.**

She does not remember his face, so she is not sure if someone had truly saved her. She is smiling now, because she feels as if she has been given a new lease in life.

Like someone from the heavens has given her a second chance to make things right and not give up like that ever again.

"Looks like you're not actually a true stickler for rules, captain," Rangiku muses, joining Toushirou as he watches Momo from afar.

He gives a tiny, genuine smile. "...Only when it comes to her."

* * *

_fin_

* * *

**A/N:** Part II is in progress, but only if you guys are not satisfied with the ending. Haha!

**Additional Note:** When you panic, you become so disorganized and rattled that all your sense of rationality and logic will fly away at the moment. It's a tested fact. XD Also, this is slight AU because the shinigamis cannot touch humans in their soul form. ^^ I don't know if this is also the case in canon, but just to be safe.


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